“We are going to do an educational seminar which has never been done in adult, and I want YOU to talk about Tantus. It’s going to cost you about a thousand dollars.” That’s not verbatim the pitch Tom Stewart, then CEO and Owner of Sportsheets (now retired), threw me, but it’s close.
I think it was closer to twelve hundred when everything was said and done. It was totally worth it.
The Seminar was a love fest, and a brainstorm between Tom, Julie Stewart (his sister and at the time the VP of Sportsheets- now CEO) and Todd Carter (at the time Director of Sales at ID Lubricant). There were to be 5 manufacturers involved. Each one Tom said would have totally different products than us- no stepping on each other’s toes.
It was October 12th of 2004 at the International Lingerie Show (ILS), and Tantus had only been at trade events for four years by then. Silicone was still a huge educational curve ball. The first ILS we had done was the month after 9/11 and it was painfully slow, but the sales were still solid even with only 1/2 of the normal attendance.
Now, ILS back then shielded their buyers from having to actually see the “novelties”. We were all behind a big black drape. The manufacturers, and the distributors, all clustered in 1/3 of the hall in darkness. I don’t think they carded you but it was close. “Did you really want to see that?” they insinuated. We with our sex toys were a parasite, a dirty cash cow. We weren’t allowed to pay for our items going into the big fancy fashion show that EVERYONE attended. We were lucky to be there at all. I don’t think the owner of the show ever really liked us—luckily Michael ran it, he tempered the messages from on high with eye rolls, and he ran interference. He was lovely.
ILS was housed in Vegas’ “Tropigetto” (the Tropicana) and you were fortunate if you had hot water for a shower in the morning. The Tropicana featured big breakfast buffets and then bird shows all day long, it also featured fraying carpets. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
Sportsheets was up in Huntington Beach, ID in Long Beach and Tantus was in Chula Vista, a few miles south of San Diego. Being offered to pay for the honor of educating an audience of buyers, more than we could afford on a trade show that was already breaking our budget, damn it… how could I say no. The next week, I was asked to come up to the Sportsheets building after hours for a meeting.
I hadn’t realized how close Julie and Todd were until that meeting. They were best friends talking last week’s get together, and next week plans. I had no idea. But by then Tom and I had formed a very tight allegiance, kibitzing on ideas and trends, usually right before trade events when we had no time to make prototypes of anything else but the ideas were totally flowing. I felt like the Stewarts had adopted me—the crazy wild child. Tom and Julie always seemed like they came right out of the Beaver Cleaver clan. Me, I did stunts like pulled a stranger’s nipple rings when some soldiers on leave crashed our Adult Novelty Manufacturers Expo Luau (7/2004). Sticking my tongue down the boy’s throat so I could pull even harder… until the captive bead broke out. Who knew what I was going to do?
Tom and I would share weird ideas… we collaborated on things that couldn’t (at that point) be done. I had this idea for Strap-ons with e-stim components that allowed you as the wearer to get a sense of the corresponding stimulation with every thrust. Not just a rubbing on clit, but an electronic zing to the left or right or oh yes… right there! Yeah, it still hasn’t happened. We could get going with total freedom and abandon.
Tom, Julie and Todd had made a list of the logistics they could foresee, and they had already done some research. We’d need to reserve a room which meant we needed to guarantee booze sales it was the most of our expense (we decided to just give two drink tickets each and ensure we had an audience), rent chairs, rent mics and speakers. We had to clear it with ILS and find a time that didn’t conflict with the fashion show but allowed us to get the news out that we were actually there, so it had to be that first night regardless. It needed to be tight. An introduction, 5 companies with ten minutes each and a close. Could it be done in an hour and a half? Would we have time for Q and A? Please, I prayed, let it not be a total commercial infomercial.
There hadn’t been seminars at adult trade shows. AVN in January 2005 would start bringing them into their schedule and their first would be by inviting us. ILS was the prototype and since the promotional companies that ran trade events hadn’t done it— we were. If you’ve ever attended or been a participant in a panel at one of these shows, you can blame it on us.
Tom had already talked to Dan and Shay Martin at Vibratex, they were in. Who would be in the fifth slot. Who would ensure my payment wouldn’t hover closer to two thousand? Who didn’t make lubricant, dildos, vibrators or accessories— Kama Sutra. It seemed safe.
I am a fairly animated speaker. I command a lot of energy and I have great eye contact. I once showed up to an office where a reporter was supposed to do a business interview with two craft vendors (a glass and a raku artist) at the Renaissance Festival for the Colorado Springs Gazette. The article when published featured 19 paragraphs, my wares and I were mentioned in 15 of them with a color picture of me at my booth.
With an actual presentation, I script the shit out of it. This was the first seminar of its kind. I was paying to be there. I had 10 minutes. I outlined what I’d say and then I wrote my info, my jokes, my pauses, my inflections; I wrote my heart out.
The day before the seminar, after we built our booth, we all met in the designated room and it was then I met Carl Stewart.
What can I tell you about Carl. He was charming, and meeting Carl I could see how Julie and Tom could be the Cleavers and yet also have the “adult” twinkle in their eyes. Witty, knowledgeable, commanding, and assured of himself; he a was retired pr/marketing man; this was what he did. His kids had a plan, so he came from Michigan to lend a hand. He was the expert in the room.
We sat up chairs where the stage would be, got the rented mics to test them and figure how we’d negotiate the two lavaliers, passing the one as the moderator (Julie) spoke between our individual presentations. Carl had us rehearse. He had Julie say her intro, go on to each of us as we gave our company bio and our products benefitted the marketplace. Yes, it was commercial but I learned a lot too. I don’t know who went first, ID or Vibratex, but both had chemistry components, and Dan and Shay had the backgrounds (one a chemist and the other an engineer). It wasn’t just a corporate plug—we actually brought a bigger picture, a “why this matters”.
By the time it got to me I was so prepped, but this was just a rehearsal. No one’s was polished like you do with a real audience, an audience bigger than Jenn Ramsey, my employee, and Carl. I started my intro “blah blah blah,” went into my different lists, why silicone, plugs, dildos, harnesses and strapless offerings “blah blah blah.” I was good. I had it.
Kama Sutra though… they just went through what they’d do at their booth product by product. It was obvious they hadn’t prepped. They just did what they did.
When we finished Carl said Kama Sutra and I both needed to work on our presentations. I was devastated.
I remember going back to my script and rehearsing the words one by one in my head instead of sleeping. Damn you, Carl.
The first day of the trade show we said hello to customers who we hadn’t seen since spring and we invited them and anyone else we saw to our event- hey free drinks!
We went into the entryway of the show, meeting and greeting and inviting them to our presentation. I think we had flier sheets or postcards talking about it with time and room, we were worried we’d be there all alone- hey free drinks!!!
By the time I got to the presentation room we’d rented with a bar set up outside the door, the room was all set up. Carl was on it! So was Jenn. Jenn had her burning man “we can put a show on in the barn” attitude. She incredibly helpful. And we were putting on that show.
We were welcoming everyone who showed up and giving them their reward- free drink tickets. OMG we were packed. Standing room only. Was it us, or the free drinks?
I crushed it.
Of the five manufacturers, Tantus was the unknown quantity. Literally when the questionnaires came back after the seminar the big surprise was how few attendees had heard of Tantus before. No one really knew of silicone yet. We had such a steep learning curve to teach buyers and owners of stores. We needed seminars. We needed all the pushes to tell our story. We needed to figure how to bring this to store clerks and to consumers.
Tom during the seminar had used as an example of the new Heinz catsup bottles. They had just redesigned the bottles to be upside down with a flat lid so you didn’t have to shake the catsup out. You stored the bottle in your refrigerator and when you needed it the sauce came out faster, easier. It was brilliant and such an easy paradigm shift and so was our evening of educating the adult industry.
Afterwards, we all went to dinner than night, well, all but Kama Sutra. We dined and rejoiced.
We also decided next time— the audience could pay for their own drinks!
When the hotel photographer came by the table, Tom got everyone a copy of the group, friends who came with us as well. There’s Brett (my stalker- joke), Todd with Shay behind, Julie with Jenn behind (who drew Julies breast smiley face I hope it was Julie), Shane, KB (Tom’s wife), pilot friends of KB, Tom standing above his father Carl, and Dan.
We were so high on our accomplishment, after dinner and drinks I sat in Julie’s lap and tried to feed my toes to the very gay Todd who told me “As long as they wiggle…”.
But my favorite memory of that evening was when Carl took me aside, he gave me a hug and softly said “You’ve done that before.” Yes Carl. We were fast friends after that.
I miss him.
Your words paint such a vibrant picture - I can feel the energy that was pumping through ups all that night, thank you for this epic trip down memory lane!
It was (and still is) a delight to be (have been) a part of this pivotal stage of the novelty industry. Thank you for taking me under your wing and helping me - and the industry) grow exponentially!
I'm sure I have more photos of this conversation, and if this dinner (minus sharpie), will email them to you...
XO Jenn Ramsey
It’s impossible to LOVE ❤️ this anymore! These are incredible memories and I am honored to be part of such a revolutionary group of free-thinkers and boundary pushers!