What the F@#! Is “Sexual Intercourse”

I love language. The way words and ideas evolve. In language nothing is stagnant. Only the French regulate their language— an attempt to keep out that which is impure. In French you borrow other languages words to express something new, italicize the fuck out of it. I don’t know if it works to keep language pure. I took French in high school and got D’s; I thought it might be depression because of my mother’s death. I took French in college and got a C. I am clearly not qualified to speak about French.

My paternal great grandfather’s first language was French. He was Italian, born in Liverpool. His nannies were French. He grew up to be an Esquire, representing English Navy sailors jailed in foreign ports. He spoke 9 languages. If I could even speak three languages, I never would have made dildos. I’d have gotten a PhD in Modern Thought and Literature. I’d be a college professor in an ivory tower. You can thank my inability to speak French, Spanish and German for all the dildos I have been responsible for sending out into the world. But I really do love language.

I was once asked to be an expert witness in a patent challenge. Patent challenges are no joke. They are millions in dollars to defend and even then, the language of your patent really needs to be precise which is not easy when it’s written by a lawyer who deals with mechanics of machinery not the language of “love” or, in this case, sexuality.

You see how words and their meanings evolve in words like “tranny”. When I was in college, living in Alameda in a garden apartment, my neighbor was this beautiful man named “Jody”. Jody’s name was not really Jody, that was his nickname. He had been in the medical core on a Navy ship where he met “Buffy”. Buffy and Jody were thick as thieves and queer as fuck. And anyone my age watched Family Affair on tv and knew exactly where those names came from. Jody was a nurse and was the hostess at the Female Impersonator Show at the gay bar in Oaklands Jack London Square. Jody had legs all the way up to his neck and was a trained gymnast who would not just lip sing to Babs and Whitney Houston but also do splits and a flip. He was a very convincing performer. Buffy was a sex worker with AIDS. Buffy was a Tranny. I use that word, a word now filled with so much trauma, because that’s the words that Buffy and Jody used. If Buffy or Jody had survived the 90’s, I would never think to use that word for them it would be so inappropriate. Buffy was a transexual and a marginalized powerless poor woman who didn’t qualify for veterans benefits because she was dishonorably discharged for being gay. I honor her memory, and I qualify her word but it is archaic— the world and our language has changed.

When I was approached to be an expert witness it was by the defendant because the patent sat on the back of that of Erogenics’ Feeldoe ® which Tantus had helped bring to market and was distributing. I read the patent in question before I said yes. It was a very interesting document. It was written for someone where words had not evolved. It was based on the exclusivity of what was sexual intercourse.

Now I need to explain there are two types of patents- a patent for a new design and a new use. Patents like Erogenics, and this plaintiff’s, had multiple patents so they could claim 1. a new use and then 2. define their designs to protect them.

The gist of the defendants use patent was that it stimulated the clitoris during sexual intercourse and was the first toy to do so. This was 2012- 2013. I was aghast reading how broad the words and how minute the meaning. I sat with the question of words for quite a while.

The words on a patent are to be understood by the industry that the patent is common to. I could not believe that the definition of sexual intercourse was merely PIV to my adult industry peers. And so… I carefully worded an online social media post, not alluding to any understanding myself or to what brought it up. I just asked my friends to define sexual intercourse.

We are many things in this industry- but closed minded we are not. Not one industry person defined sexual intercourse as anything like PIV except one- a LBGTQ retailer who gave the historic meaning and qualified it as “historically”. I was fortunate in that I had made friends with Bill Taverner the Executive Director of the Center for Sex Education (CSE). My post inspired him to reach out to me with a phone call and an offer that was so amazing… a book that was out of print but that he said was the standard authority on sexuality definitions: The Complete Dictionary of Sexology, Robert T. Francoeur, Editor and Chief. Have I told you how much I love language.

See I don’t have that PhD, but my undergrad BA is in Humanities. No one knows what the fuck that means but it’s the study of cultural production. I may not be teaching in an ivory tower but I can certainly trace cultural products as they evolve, especially adult products.

The following is are excepts from my legal report (the names and patents have been deleted):

18. Sexual Intercourse as defined by The Complete Dictionary of Sexology, Robert T. Francoeur, Editor and Chief, published by Continuum Publishing Company in 1995, states that “intercourse, sexual: A technical synonym for coitus or copulation; the act of inserting the erect penis in the vagina or anus. The term is also used in conjunction with qualifying or descriptive adjectives (e.g., anal, interfemoral, or oral intercourse). More broadly, placing the emphasis on sexual communications and interactions, sexual intercourse includes the entire proceptive and acceptive interaction from loveplay through intromission, orgasm, and afterplay” (copy attached to my report as Exhibit 8). This text predates the XXXXXX’s patents. Especially within the adult industry as a designer, manufacturer and a distributor, it has been my experience that a dildo is used for sexual intercourse. It has also been my belief as a designer and manufacturer of sexual products, and as a sex educator and author that sexual intercourse can be vaginal, anal or oral.

19. Furthermore, after the famous 1998 statement by President Clinton that “I did not have sexual relations with that woman,” I believe that there was enough public debate regarding his actions in regard to “sexual relations” and that while “relations” are very broad so that they not only include oral sex, but can also include “outer-sex” (e.g. mutual masturbation, petting, and even sexual texting or “sexting”) this culture had a consensus that acts of “sex” were not narrowly defined engagements. We live in a world of multiple sexual identities and desires, and I don’t believe only heterosexual, procreative sex is intercourse. Intercourse is an exchange of feelings or thoughts. I might narrow “sexual intercourse” to a penetrative sexual experience, but that penetration could be by partners of the same sex or different sex, there could be more persons involved than a single couple, it could be within any orifice that would exchange the penetrating organ. And since this product is an “adult product” for sexual use, I believe the industry is more aware than the general public that this diversity of experience exists.

20. The x xxx xxxx patent uses the term “sexual intercourse” multiple times in independent claims and never narrows the definition to mean anything less than this broad definition.

Of course, by that broad definition several toys including Erogenic’s had preceeded the Plantiff. And honestly, after multiple reports by me and by others, some defending the patent, mine questioning those defenses, the companies in question came to some accord… I’m not sure who won. But I know the party that paid me was happy with what I’d been able to add— I got bottles of wine for Christmas for years.